Implementing Balance Into Your Day

Tiffani: 00:00

Welcome to our first episode of Finding Your Balance, a mental health podcast. My name is Tiffany. I'm a licensed mental health counselor, and I'm also the director of children's services at Peace River Center, a community mental health agency located in Polk County.

Tiffani: 00:13

I'm joined here by my co -host, Kirk, who is a licensed clinical social worker, as well as director of the crisis response services at Peace River Center. Hi, Kirk. Hello. How are you, Tiffany? I'm good. So today is we're getting ready for the fall semester that has just started for most schools.

Tiffani: 00:28

There's a lot of transition in the air. air. And I think when we talk about mental health, transition is a big stressor that can affect mental health in a big way, right? Big anxiety during this time because you're breaking out into something new.

Kirk: 00:40

Most people are breaking away from their families for the first time and making long trips, like even going out of state. And so, yes, very much a brand new adventure for everyone.

Tiffani: 00:53

I think a lot of times when we talk And so, yes, very much a brand new adventure that can affect mental health in a big way. mental health, right now especially, it's one of those bunch of words, everyone's talking about mental health, they're talking about trauma, and when you think about finding your balance,

Tiffani: 01:03

it's important to know what even do those words mean? Absolutely. Right? And when you think about mental health, everyone has it. Just like everyone has physical health, and sometimes just like with physical health,

Tiffani: 01:15

you can become unwell. Right, exactly. Especially if you're not paying attention. to doing things that help you to reduce your anxiety, reduce your stress. If you're not finding those support mechanisms,

Kirk: 01:30

the coping mechanisms that help you find your balance, it can lead to more serious things. I'm thinking especially, and I know sometimes we think especially about students during this time,

Tiffani: 01:43

but in every big life transition, whether it be a new relationship, a new job, anytime there's a big change, it can be really hard to find your balance when you have that reset.

Tiffani: 01:54

And so especially I think about, you know, when you start somewhere fresh and you had a support system, but now that support system changes or you had a schedule and a routine and now, you know, it's completely different.

Tiffani: 02:05

How do you regain that balance when there has been a big shift? And so a lot of times people, you know, they think about the big ones like sleep, like nutrition. And those are big helps,

Tiffani: 02:16

but there's so much more we can do. Absolutely. And I think it's important that people understand, even when they're breaking off into something new, that create a routine around it,

Kirk: 02:27

because that reduces anxiety. So the more you practice that, the more you make it part of your regular routine. Even if there's something... in the routine you want to change. You want to introduce it and practice it several times over in order for something to become habitual in somebody's life.

Kirk: 02:45

You have to do it at least 21 times in order for it to really set in. So, yeah, routine is important. And when you're adding new things,

Kirk: 02:57

make it part of the routine. routine. - Well, when you look at routines, I think sometimes, you know, there's so many things that we can do on our own, definitely. But there's some things that you can't replace that connection,

Tiffani: 03:10

that relationship with other people. When you're starting new, maybe at a new job or at a new school, sometimes that doesn't happen automatically. And learning how do you cultivate friendships? How do you find that connection?

Tiffani: 03:21

It can be really hard. - It is, it is. And, you know, a lot of schools have opportunities for meet and greets, especially with freshmen. Getting to know who's available on campus,

Kirk: 03:34

getting to know fellow freshmen, and you start off. Some people think it's kind of silly, but it's an important piece because you need that social support system.

Kirk: 03:45

It may not be the permanent social network that you have at the beginning. but it's a start and helps people to really start to take control of their life at that point.

Kirk: 03:57

Especially if it's a new situation where you are breaking away from mom and dad and trying to break out on your own to really start to figure out,

Kirk: 04:08

"Okay, who do I want to hang out with? Who do I want to be with? Who's going to be that person?" And again, you're... testing the waters the first few times. I think sometimes whenever we start new things,

Tiffani: 04:20

it's like this idea of who am I, who do I want to be because that can change over time. Going from adolescence to early adulthood, there's a lot of changes that take place and part of the college experience,

Tiffani: 04:33

part of the young adult experience is kind of rediscovering who you are, figuring out for the first time. And the scary part sometimes, for the first time, is that you're not going to be able to those big transitions is when your support system does change,

Tiffani: 04:44

you gotta ask yourself, am I okay? And if I'm not okay, is there anybody who's going to notice that I'm not okay? And when I think about like that question,

Tiffani: 04:56

am I okay? There's so much to unpack there because what I need to be okay changes over the course of my life. my life. And especially early adulthood,

Tiffani: 05:08

what do I need? I need that balance. Like you said, I need the sleep, I need the nutrition, but I also need to kind of be honest with who I am. And part of that means setting boundaries,

Tiffani: 05:19

figuring out what my coping skills are. And coping skills, I feel like it's such a simple thing, but it can be a really hard thing because it's something that you have to intentionally implement. And coping skills is another. buzzword.

Tiffani: 05:30

Like, what does that even mean? Right. Exactly. And I think you said something very important. It's the intentionality that goes with it. The mindfulness of doing something and saying,

Kirk: 05:41

"I'm doing this with purpose. I'm doing this for a particular reason." That is pretty important in a way of, you know, taking control of who I am,

Kirk: 05:51

who I'm going to be. Now, not everybody's going to do it perfectly. perfectly. Most people don't do it perfectly. They make mistakes. That's how we learn. We make mistakes.

Kirk: 06:02

It's not necessarily what you see on TikTok or YouTube. That's the first, "Oh, wow. I wish I could do that." Well, what about all that practice that person had to get to that point?

Kirk: 06:13

'Cause you're only seeing the best of the situation. You're not seeing the trips, the falls, the stumbles. stumbles that took place beforehand. You're only seeing that perfect moment.

Kirk: 06:24

And that doesn't mean everybody does it perfectly the first time. It takes practice. And the way to practice is to get out there and put yourself out there to do these things, interact with fellow students who are going through the same experience you are.

Tiffani: 06:40

And what you just said so resonates with me because so many times what we broadcast to other people. what we see from other people, is the highlight reel. We see the best of the situation, how many selfies did you take,

Tiffani: 06:51

you know, to get the perfect one to post, and we forget. A lot of people feel the way we feel when we're in those moments, when you're feeling lonely, or when you're feeling insecure, or when you're feeling,

Tiffani: 07:03

"Man, I don't belong here." Like an imposter. A lot of people feel that way, but we're afraid to say it out loud. loud, and I think there's such power in connection and power in community.

Tiffani: 07:14

So one of the best ways to find your balance is to be honest with your need for connection with other people. Absolutely. And there are a lot of resources at schools.

Kirk: 07:24

There's the student body counseling that's available. There are other professors that are out there. You're an advisor if you've got an advisor at the school.

Kirk: 07:34

school, get to know them, talk with them a little bit. Again, you have control here. That's the other thing. A lot of people feel it's totally out of their control. It's not totally out of your control.

Kirk: 07:47

You have some control around that. We get anxious about stuff that we don't have control over. Those things you need to like, "Okay, how do I adjust, adapt,

Kirk: 07:57

be flexible?" But those things we do have control over. over, we forget, that we have some control here. And that includes our social encounters and how we go about that and who we reach out to.

Kirk: 08:10

And I think too, you know, I said earlier that people are gonna struggle, they're gonna fall down every once in a while, make mistakes, and then you learn from those mistakes.

Kirk: 08:20

That's a normal part of growing and developing. learning new stuff. I mean, myself, I'm still learning some new stuff. I get out there and learn some new stuff every once in a while.

Kirk: 08:31

Not always going to be perfect, but you practice at it. You study it. You talk with other people who might be going through a similar experience or who have some information from their previous encounters with that to help kind of guide what you're going to do.

Kirk: 08:49

So it's good to know what you're going to do. reach out to people even as part of the normal development, whatever normal is. But I think too, it's important to understand that when it feels awkward,

Kirk: 09:01

when it just doesn't feel right, don't isolate, don't hide yourself from the fact that, "Hey, I might need to talk to somebody, anybody about this particular issue." and you want to make sure that somebody you trust and you feel safe with.

Tiffani: 09:18

And I think that's the value of a support system of people who know you. And when you think about, "Well, how do I find my balance whenever things are not balanced,

Tiffani: 09:29

whenever things are teetering to the unhealthy side?" Because mental health is not a constant, right? It evolves and it changes depending on how you're feeling in the day, in the environment,

Tiffani: 09:40

And there's things that you can do to safeguard that, but sometimes you do all the things that you know and it can still be a struggle. So having that support system of the people who know you,

Tiffani: 09:50

the people you trust who can jump on that scale and can tilt that balance to a healthier side, that can be everything. And so, but part of it starts with making sure you have people who know you,

Tiffani: 10:03

who can either... either notice or sense that you're not okay or who you can reach out to and say, "Hey, I need to talk. I need someone on my side right now," and that can really make a world of difference.

Kirk: 10:16

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, there are different types of people. There are those that are more extroverted and are out there and like to be kind of in the spotlight and social and interact quite a bit,

Kirk: 10:29

and then you have folks who who are more introverted who, yes, they do some of the social thing but that takes a lot of energy for them and so they need those quiet times and again,

Kirk: 10:41

it's knowing yourself, finding the balance for yourself and the way you do that is test the waters, you try out different things and if you're an introvert and you spend a lot of time with social people,

Kirk: 10:55

that's a lot of energy and you go home and you're like, "I am exhausted." That's because you've expended a lot of energy during that process and that's okay to take time to yourself too,

Kirk: 11:06

but also understand that if you're taking too much time to yourself and you're isolating from all others, that might be an indication you need to reach out.

Tiffani: 11:16

Sure, you have to have that moderation and so I think it requires that intentionality, getting to know who you are. Sometimes we don't have a chance to really think about, what do I think or what's best for me because if you were coming from a family that was very helpful or very hands -on in training you or equipping you to grow,

Tiffani: 11:38

you might not have had a lot of say so in your day to day. And so coming to college, moving to a new place, is having that autonomy. to be the decider of your schedule, of what time you go to sleep,

Tiffani: 11:49

of who you hang out with, whenever you go to events, that can be a lot of power that not everybody had experienced prior to coming to college. So you're absolutely right.

Tiffani: 11:59

And I think having the chance to say, "What do I need?" and really being honest with yourself because I so resonate with what you said because I love talking to people and, you know,

Tiffani: 12:10

out and meeting new people, but I also have to have that time to recharge. And if I don't, I know the difference that I feel. - Yeah. - And I have to have it.

Tiffani: 12:20

And my whole life, I thought I was an extrovert because that's what people said I was. And then as I really spent time getting to know myself and really being aware of, well, how do I feel after this event?

Tiffani: 12:31

Or how do I feel after that interaction? What makes me feel full of joy? What makes me feel energized and relaxed and excited and what just drains me? I think sometimes we don't even have those conversations with ourself because we're just day to day going through the motions,

Tiffani: 12:45

but if you're honest with yourself and you start realizing what you need, I think you can be a better advocate for yourself. And that's a weird concept sometimes, "Well, I have to advocate for myself.

Tiffani: 12:57

Absolutely you do." Yeah, because... you're out there on your own until you really start to get those friends who could be around you. But you do. You have to be advocating for yourself and not always just settling.

Kirk: 13:12

And in the beginning, you don't always know what that line is, so you're not really sure. And again, you've got to trust, we call it that gut instinct, where it just doesn't feel right in here in my gut.

Kirk: 13:25

So when it feels uncomfortable, speak up, say something, and sometimes people get shy about doing that because they get shot down the first time,

Kirk: 13:35

but you really know, hey, this is something that isn't quite right here. So yeah. And then sometimes I think, you know, you get to know yourself and you have feelings about certain things,

Tiffani: 13:47

and sometimes those feelings can become imbalanced. imbalanced. And what I mean by that is, you know, we want to make a good impression whenever we meet new people, or when we start new activities, but what about when you're going to bed at night,

Tiffani: 13:59

and you lay down, and you're like reeling through every conversation that you've had, and every interaction that you had, and you're picking yourself apart, right, that level of anxiety that sometimes can come,

Tiffani: 14:11

you know, that's a really big indicator I think of. well, something's a little bit off balance, right? It's typical to, hmm, well, that didn't go well, or like, oh, I could have probably done this better,

Tiffani: 14:21

then you give yourself grace and you learn from what didn't go well and you do better next time versus, I can't go to bed because my thoughts are racing because I'm the worst.

Kirk: 14:32

Yeah, or yeah, definitely when you're being hypercritical. We can be, there's self -criticism that's helpful. and not so helpful, especially where,

Kirk: 14:43

yeah, you can't go to sleep because you're thinking of, "Oh, I should have said this differently. Oh, they think I'm foolish." How do you feel about it? Where are you at with it? Can you be comfortable in your mistakes?

Kirk: 14:56

Because you're going to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. We've made mistakes. I'm trying to even develop this podcast, for example. We've stumbled here in the past, but we've made mistakes. We've made mistakes. We've made mistakes. there and tried to fine -tune it,

Kirk: 15:06

and we'll continue to fine -tune it as we progress with this because it's something new for us. Other people have gone forward and done these things,

Kirk: 15:19

and it seems effortless, but we're seeing them further down their path. They struggled in the beginning, too. And so, that's true for any new experience. experience,

Kirk: 15:29

especially folks who are breaking away from a structure that was in place before, whether they agreed with the structure or not, it was still structure, and then they break out on their own and it's like,

Kirk: 15:41

"I can go to bed at any time I want. I can eat the cheetos for dinner as opposed to not being told I couldn't," those kinds of things. And so, again,

Kirk: 15:52

finding your balance as far as nutrition goes, your exercise, your leisure time, your study time, finding that balance is what works for you.

Kirk: 16:05

It's an experiment. It's a practice. When I wish I had known whenever I was in college at the time that it's a constant event. It's this set of,

Tiffani: 16:20

you know, ways to do it and now that I found it, I'm done and everything's gonna be great and, you know, I don't have to keep trying. And that's just not reality. This balancing act, it doesn't stop.

Tiffani: 16:31

You know, you do the best that you can and you just keep doing the best that you can and hopefully you develop a system of support with people you trust and you can lean on them because there's gonna be times where it's hard and there's gonna be times where it's easier and the...

Tiffani: 16:44

the best way I think to go through life is to go through it with people you love and people you trust and sometimes those people leave and sometimes those people stay and sometimes those people change but if you're constantly working towards finding your balance of do I have a support system?

Tiffani: 17:02

Do I have people who know me? Do I know myself? I think that we can give ourselves grace and knowing we're doing the best we can do. But you can do the best you can do with intentionality and it really,

Tiffani: 17:15

I think it really helps bring us into a peace where I did my best. Yeah. And that's enough. And for a lot of folks, it's helpful to, you know, as we embark on something new,

Kirk: 17:27

it's good for them to write it down. You know, some folks are really good at journaling. So, by all means, write it down. What is your experience? What are you going through at that moment?

Kirk: 17:39

And it's also good historically, because later on in life you can go back to those journals and read what you went through and see how far you've come. So it's not only a way to kind of let go of some stuff and kind of write out your thoughts for that moment in time.

Kirk: 17:56

and to have that free flow of thought, but it does help with the intentionality,

Kirk: 18:06

being aware of, "Okay, this is where I'm at right now. Can I change this? Can I not change this? What can I do differently the next day?" Because everybody's struggling with doing the best they can.

Kirk: 18:17

And everyone's got that same struggle in trying to get through life, and life happens. happens and we make those connections along the way that we've got some good people that we connect with and help us and sometimes connect with bad people and we need to move on from those relationships if you can.

Kirk: 18:37

That's not always easy because you feel some comfort there sometimes, but you got to know what's good for you and again, journaling is one way to do that to make it more meaningful to you.

Kirk: 18:51

It's a good way to go back and check how far you've come, you know. Not everyone likes to journal, so that's okay too. I knew a friend of mine way back when used to have a little recorder,

Kirk: 19:09

cassette recorder. He would talk into that. And so he's got a little library of cassette. cassette. Now, I don't think he has that anymore, but I'm sure it's been archived somewhere in his life.

Kirk: 19:20

He was kind of that kind of a person. But you know, just kind of having that history is always interesting. So thinking through like, you know, a recap of how do you find your balance.

Tiffani: 19:32

This is going to be the first of many podcast episodes where we really dive into different diagnoses and different treatment modalities and lots of different topics that focus on mental health and has that mental health really compared to when does it turn into mental illness.

Tiffani: 19:49

But for the purpose of our first episode, what we really wanted to impart was some very quick ways to start implementing, you know, balance in the day -to -day life.

Tiffani: 19:59

And one of those we talked about was sleep. You've got to get enough sleep. If you don't get enough sleep. you're starting your day. - Starting off at the negative, right, exactly. - And then the next is nutrition.

Tiffani: 20:10

And people think sometimes that, you know, the body and the mind are separate. They're not, they're all connected. And I notice a difference in myself. If I've skipped breakfast or if I've skipped lunch,

Tiffani: 20:21

I'm on edge, you know, I'm jittery. And I know that that is 100 % influencing my mental health because it's influencing my... ability to regulate, right?

Tiffani: 20:31

If someone comes to me with a problem, I'm much more likely, honestly, to overreact if I haven't, you know, had breakfast. And so I always think if I'm getting annoyed at somebody,

Tiffani: 20:42

um, did I get enough sleep last night? Who wants the last time I ate something? Did they eat something good? Right? It makes a difference. And so I think, you know, we have to constantly monitor. The other thing is, you know,

Tiffani: 20:53

coping skills and what we said before, this is what we a great time to try a new hobby, to be brave, to get out there and you're gonna find things that do not work for you. And then you're gonna find things that you didn't realize would bring you such an immense amount of joy.

Tiffani: 21:07

One of the things you're gonna laugh at me bringing this up is that my new hobby I've just gotten into is chickens, which is so, it sounds so silly, but I thought,

Tiffani: 21:19

never. And I just had an idea and I went with it, right? Jumped right in. - Jumped right in, right? - And it has brought me so much joy. And I don't know how long that joy will be because it's okay for hobbies to change,

Tiffani: 21:32

but finding what sparks doing you, it really makes a difference. And it doesn't have to be the same thing as what everyone else is doing. - Right, exactly. - And the other thing, I think that it's so crucial crucial is finding that support system.

Tiffani: 21:46

And for me, when I moved away to college, I actually moved to Lakeland for college. I didn't know anyone here, though there was one person I moved here with that was a good friend, but all of my family was,

Tiffani: 21:57

you know, not here. My close friends all growing up were not here. And so I had to create a new support system, and that's really hard. It's hard to learn how to make friends when they're grown up.

Tiffani: 22:09

It is. It's a lot harder. harder, I think, to go through hard things alone. And it's a lot harder to go through things when you feel like you have no one. And so developing that support system is key.

Tiffani: 22:20

And it really, it needs to be an intentional effort because if you're walking through life and nobody truly knows you, they might not know if you're not okay. Right.

Kirk: 22:31

Exactly. Exactly. And I think, too, you know, adding to all that you've talked about sleep, nutrition, support system, mapping it out a little bit for yourself.

Kirk: 22:43

It doesn't have to be a perfect map. Just kind of outline some things that you want to accomplish for yourself. And having that routine make things a routine and change things that don't seem to work out very well.

Kirk: 22:56

It's okay. It's all about you. I remember. remember one of my goals for myself when I was in college, when I didn't know anybody on campus was every day I'm gonna meet someone and I'm gonna do something kind for them and what I found was and it could be something as simple as I'm gonna go get my mail from the mail section and I'm going to just give the lady a compliment or you know just something genuine but

Tiffani: 23:21

every day I'm going to intentionally be kind and curg Kirk, that did something to my heart because there's something about being kind to other people that fills you up. And I remember even when I would have a rough day and I was missing my family or class didn't go the way that I thought it would,

Tiffani: 23:37

I intentionally made an effort to do one kind thing for someone else and it completely shifted my perspective because it wasn't about me. It was about bringing joy to someone else and that turned me down.

Tiffani: 23:50

the whole day around. And so I think if we can find a way to shift our perspective to like finding that joy, finding that balance, like it has a funny way of doing that for us.

Tiffani: 24:02

And so as we conclude, as always, if you know, if you're in this situation and you find that maybe you'd like to reach out for support, maybe you're not sure where you're at,

Tiffani: 24:14

but you know that it will. be helpful to talk to someone. There are a lot of resources in this community, but none of them are helping you if you don't know about them. And so if you're on campus, there are several campus resources available at any time.

Tiffani: 24:27

But if you're not on campus, if you're in the Polk County area, we have several resources. - Absolutely. Well, nationally, there's the 988. That's a nice number. You might have heard of it in the news,

Kirk: 24:38

and that's... for people who are having real heavy -duty struggles they can call that number and get some help immediately and talk to somebody. There's our local number for emotional support and that's through Peace Reverse Centers Crisis Line and that's 863 -519 -3744 and again people can can use that number to talk through things that they're struggling with and there will be a counselor,

Kirk: 25:03

a live person on the other end of that line. Again, that's 863 -519 -3744, and that's locally to Bull County. And people can look up Peace River Center on our website at peacerivercenter .org and see all the resources that are available through Peace River Center in our local area.

Kirk: 25:23

But people can call, and we have had people call on our crisis line from all over, just to talk about it. about some stuff and they're welcome to do so. Very often we'll guide them back to their local resources,

Kirk: 25:36

but we're available and again that number is 863 -519 -3744. Thank you for joining us on our very first podcast and we hope to have you join us next time as we continue the quest at helping you find your balance in mental health.

Kirk: 25:54

Thank you for joining us. being with us. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, you can call us here in Central Florida at 863 -519 -3744.

Kirk: 26:10

Or if you're listening from other areas outside of Central Florida, you can call the national number 988.